That's how I'm living my life right now, slow and steady.
Mark is still not allowed in the house. He called yesterday and I told him to call back on Monday. And to stay away from the kids since they think he's on a business trip. He tried explaining about Dorrie but I don't want to hear it. I asked if he was staying in the hotel by himself but he didn't answer. I guess I really don't want to know. The thing is, Dorrie had me completely set up. She was going to work with Cole and Kaitlyn on Tuesday at the KCSA fields where Brittney was practicing. She and Mark knew everybody would be out of the house and at the fields. She wasn't due to show up at Kings Court for another half hour, so they had 20-30 minutes before she had to be on the field. With my kids. After being with Mark. I try not to think about it much.
Lots of games this weekend. Tournament starts tomorrow for Kaitlyn. I think they're ready to step up, win a few games and take home the trophy. Brittney has a scrimmage on Saturday but we're still lining up the opponent. Any team would be fine; we just need to keep her focused on soccer right up to tryouts.
Kaitlyn hasn't spoken about anything but she's spent the past few days in her room with her door closed. Probably catching up on her homework. Cole is oblivious to everything. It's Brittney who might catch on to what's happening around here but so far she hasn't said a thing.
I'm coping. Kaitlyn and Cole are mad because they see me smoking. I'm surprised how easy it is to go from not smoking for about 15 years to half-a-pack a day. I'm only buying them by the carton at this point.
Two weeks from today we should have tryout results. Things will be better by then, somehow.
Your kids know, they always do. They aren't going to actually say anything to you. You have to do something now before it is too late -- you need to get Mark to come back, pretend nothing happened. Schedule a training this weekend with Dorrie and the girls, put a smile on your face, and get some nicotine gum, for God's sake. Pull yourself together!
ReplyDeleteIf not, your kids are going to be in therapy for years talking about how their Mom ruined their promising soccer careers through pathetic over-indulgent self pity and passivity. This is when you should be talking to coaches, directors, DOC, to position your girls for their next year. Not sitting at home trying to collapse a lung, crying yourself to sleep in your nicotine-stained pillow every night. I'm telling you, they will both end up on Silver if you continue this pathetic behavior.