Friday, May 10, 2013

Tryouts looming

This week KCSA held optional practices for all their teams.  When I asked everyone if they wanted to go, each said no.  It killed me when Brittney said she would rather take the week off.  I don't think she needs the practice, but any touches on the ball would help.  However I have to tread lightly with her.  Somehow she's become my friend this week and I want it to stay that way.  Kaitlyn hasn't said much at all this week behind her closed bedroom door, but she also wanted a break from soccer practice.  Her one word 'no' was enough to let me know she wanted a break.  And Cole has talked some about playing baseball in the fall.  I can refocus him later if I can get him through the tryouts next week.

With all the crap in my life right now, I have to start focusing on something I can somewhat control around here and that's soccer.  It's what's kept me sane for the past few years.  Right now it's only three days until tryouts and I'm absolutely terrified for all my kids.  Thankfully Brittney has become my rock.  It's hard to believe that a 12-year old could help me keep it together but she's wise beyond her years.  She's still openly smoking around the house, and it has to stop soon, but I don't want to upset her too much.  I need to keep her happy and determined to do well in the tryouts.  I was into much worse at her age, or around her age.  I saw on her cell phone that she's been texting Jamie all hours of the night but I guess that's what kids do nowadays.  I just want her to be 100% ready for the upcoming tryouts.  Maybe a new club would be best for her, sort of a fresh start with some new faces and new teammates.  I signed her up for both the KCSA and PCSL tryouts next week and told her we would do both.  She didn't seem to really care when I mentioned it.  It's her apathy toward soccer that hurts me right now, especially when I see how much PCSL wants her on their club.  As much as I want to see her excel at the tryouts, I don't look forward to watching the other soccer parents talk about me right behind my back.  My husband who left me, my daughter who has a girlfriend, and they have to be able to sense the cigarettes smell on both Brittney and me; I've given them a range to topics to discuss amongst themselves.  They're such a judgemental group.  I might have to just drop the kids off at tryouts and then come back to pick them up afterwards.

Kaitlyn has basically locked herself in her room lately.  Aside from the 3-minute talk we had yesterday she's been mute.  She's in her room all the time except for dinner, and even then she just picks at her food.

Apparently, through the grapevine, I heard that Mark and Dorrie already left for a very long-weekend vacation to the beach.  He hated going to the beach whenever I asked about it, although she might look slightly better in a bikini.

1 comment:

  1. Yeah, I knew a kid like Brittney. Loved soccer as a kid. Practiced all the time, really into it, best player on the team. Then dropped it completely at age 12.

    ReplyDelete