Wednesday, May 8, 2013

It's over

This has to be rock bottom right now.

Mark came to get some things last night.  Or should I say, Mark and Dorrie came to get some of this things.  Unbelievable, he brings Dorrie along.  I wouldn't let her in the house.  Mark said I was acting like a child when I told him Dorrie wasn't allowed inside.  I replied that at least someone was acting like a child around here because Brittney and Kaitlyn weren't acting like kids anymore: one smokes constantly and wants to go to a dance with her girlfriend and the other won't speak to me and locks herself in her room 24-7.  That isn't typical behavior for young kids.  He didn't hear any of it.  Instead he just grabbed some clothes and looked for the kids to say goodbye.  Kaitlyn wouldn't come out of her room - good for her.  Brittney seemed disinterested and barely acknowledged him.  But Cole was another story.  I found Cole outside with Dorrie.  She had picked him up and was hugging him.  Thankfully Britts was there to hold me back because I wanted to run out and pull him out of her arms.

Everything else was sort of a blur.  Before he left Mark told me that it was over between us.  He was moving in with Dorrie.  I still find it an odd concept to wrap my head around.  He's moving in with a girl who's about 22-years old, when we have a daughter only 10 years younger.  He said he would continue to pay the mortgage for a while and that he would eventually get me the name of his lawyer, after he found one.  And that I should do the same.  It was all so cold and business-like.  No yelling or name calling.  No emotion.  And then he was outside, getting into the passenger side of Dorrie's car, and off they drove.

Cole was just happy to see Dorrie and went to bed soon after.  I don't think he has a clue.  Kaitlyn stayed in her room the rest of the night.  I'm still in shock over it all.  After Mark was gone Brittney poured me some wine and brought a box of cigarettes and an ashtray out to the porch for us.  I'm so sad she had to see this first hand.

And that's all I can clearly remember.  I woke up on the porch at 5:45 this morning; up with the sun.  I don't remember much after Britts coming out there with me, but looking at the full ashtray and empty bottle of wine, I'm guessing I was awake on the porch for a while before falling asleep.  And the hangover is minimal for some reason, maybe the fresh air.  At least I had a blanket wrapped around me last night.  Right now I'm actually stealing a cigarette from Brittney until I can buy more this morning.  I think I'm as close to rock bottom as I'll get, so it sure as hell better improve soon.

1 comment:

  1. You are rolling over, girlfriend. You just allowed a 22 year old to steal your husband? Where is my competitive little spit fire?????

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